Okay, so since I know you are all avid readers of my blog (come on, let me have this win), you know that I absolutely love the stable where I ride. I've been given permission by the owner to use the name of the barn in my blog moving forward so here it is: Bramblewood. Isn't that just a magnificent name? Just makes you think of all things horsey and woodsy and naturey. Like dryads and nymphs.
I love Bramblewood and I love everything about it. The horses, the instructors, the other riders, the barn kittens - I could go on and on (and I usually do). But the number 1 thing I love about Bramblewood?
They accept me for who.I.am. They don't judge me for being heavier than I should be or not having the cutest clothes or not always knowing what to say. The barn owner actually pushes me to be who I am and encourages me to ask assertive questions and say what I'm really feeling (still working on that of course). But the focus of this today is the acceptance part.
When I first reached out to Bramblewood a year and a half ago about lessons, they didn't ask me my age or my height or my weight. They knew I was an adult but that was about it. And of course I first had to attend a Welcome Workshop (amazing) before I got into the program but then I hit the ground running. No one made a comment about the fact that I'm a little heavy (which I am always working on and forgetting to work on and committing to working on and slacking off). No, they just matched me up with a horse and we went from there.
This weekend, I heard about another barn in passing and I decided to check out their website just to see. Boy, they fancy. They have like 40 stalls and three stories in their barn (you ever heard of a horse on a second story? I haven't. Maybe I'm uncultured). Trails and indoor arenas and dressage arenas and yada yada yada. Yep. They fancy.
So I checked out their lesson page. They had lots of information about their riding program but one thing on their page was key to me and stood out to me - no riders over ____ pounds. That was it. If you were over this amount of weight, there was no room for you at this barn. I'm about 15 pounds over that limit (you can use your imagination to figure out the limit) and, had I been searching for a barn to ride at and seen that, my self-esteem would.have.been.crushed. That would have been akin to them telling me "you are too fat to be one of us. You would break our horses." Man. Can you imagine? Missing out on the wonderful connections and lessons horses can teach us because I like cake and don't like working out?
Now, I'm not saying that barn owners and instructors shouldn't be careful when pairing a heavier set rider with a horse. There's a cute, fun little dapple gray pony guy at my barn that I'm not ever going to ride because I'm too big for him. I'll never ride Lady or Magic.
But I (and those like me) shouldn't be turned away completely because I'm overweight. That just reinforces everything that I tell myself about myself. If I'd read that when I was looking for a horse barn, that would have stopped me right there. Why was I even considering going back to horseback riding? I'm too fat, I'll hurt the horse, no one will like me, they say on their website that they don't want people like me. And that would have started me into a downward spiral and I'd never have found the joy that I have now.
Luckily, I found Bramblewood. A place where even if you weren't built for riding, you could still find a home. A place where groundwork and connection work - moments where you don't even get on the horse - provide just as much a home as the lessons from the back of the horse. The staff at Bramblewood and the instructors at Bramblewood don't blink an eye when they see me. I still remember a lesson when I was just a couple months into riding when I was on Julian and I went to mount him and he shifted because his back or his leg was hurting (I can't remember which) and the owner of the barn had me get off immediately and switch to Moose. And I think she could tell that I was self-conscious and worried that I'd hurt Julian because I was too large and so she went out of her way to make it clear that he wasn't at his best and it wasn't me (whether that was true or not). So I'm grateful.
I did some more research and found another local barn that isn't accepting adult riders right now because of consideration of the horses' size and abilities. While that isn't as painful to my self-esteem as being told I'm over a limit, it still would have depressed me if I'd found that first.
So, to make a long story short, there are a zillion reasons why I love Bramblewood. But first and foremost is that looks and size and number of pimples don't matter. Even if you aren't "built" for riding and most pairs of breeches don't fit right, there' still a place for you at Bramblewood. You can be a part of the change in the horse world that is focusing more on connection and just being with the horses. Just because you don't fit the mold for the ideal rider, you can still belong at Bramblewood.
I'm on my way to being an instructor at Bramblewood and I'm more excited about that than I can remember being about anything in the past. I'm hopeful to use my stories and my experiences to help all my students (whether they be overweight adults like me or trim little 11 year olds) be their best selves. Because it takes a village. Horses, barn kittens, fellow riders, instructors, barn owners ... it takes everyone.
And I'm so grateful that Bramblewood is my village.
No comments:
Post a Comment